I have found a terrific place to hang out

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By W.B. Evans

Whether you are rich or poor, we all share one task – a trip to the garbage dump, also known as a county convenience site in today’s politically correct terms.
I have my very own, personal facility, which I frequently share with my neighbors and a few out of staters who prefer the dump to the shoulders of a county road.
I didn’t always have my site.  At first, it was just a tract of land covered in weeds. Then it was developed into a nice brick grammar school. You know, one of those “neighborhood schools.”
We worked in the PTA, participated in several Halloween fund raisers and chipped in when equipment was somehow missing after summer break.  Bless Pete, our school board started taking cues from Mecklenburg and got into a lather and just flat closed our neighborhood school in a midst of consolidations.
The building, idle and ransacked, was finally torn down.  The tract just sat there until someone decided to scrape up the ground and build a dirt racetrack where the Good Ole Boys could let off some steam.
My young son talked me into taking him to see a race.  He suggested we stand in an area where we could really see.  Well sir, the red Carolina mud was sprayed on us.  We blended in with the ladies wearing those tight white coveralls.
I was cured as a race fan, but in later years, my grandson spun several racers around that oval track. He learned to keep his mouth closed on the high turns.  Girls still go for white teeth.
Then the county got interested in a piece of the property.  It wasn’t construction of a thing of beauty.  After all, somebody’s got to have a dump in their neighborhood.  It was rather close by for me, and I became a regular, so to speak.
My convenience site is awesome.  Lined up in military formation and resembling those D-Day landing craft from World War’s II Normandy Beach, those giant green vessels await our “throwaways.”  Different containers for different stuff.
Most of my junk is pure junk.  Mostly, I use the one for kitchen litter. You know that food you take off the table, put in the fridge and a few days later throw in the trash can.
You cannot just run to the site and discard old cars, washing machines and stoves.  My site has two men who oversee your deposits.
Sometimes us taxpayers get a little riled up cause we have to take our old electronics to another location. But life ain’t perfect, is it?
Lancaster County has these sites scattered around, not enough to suit everyone.  We still see litter along the roadway shoulders, and there is always an abandoned refrigerator hiding behind some old plumb bushes or blackberry vines.
How bout saving your food wrappers for the next trip to your very own convenience site. Don’t throw them in your neighbor’s yard.
Sure wish I could find a way to get those white turkey feathers to the dump.


The writer lives in Lancaster.