Bizarre story of the day: Trust us, you’re going to want to read this one

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By Kayla Vaughn

A Lancaster man, incapacitated by alcohol, with $2,500 in his pocket and a bottle of fake urine wrapped in hand-warmers, was arrested driving the wrong way on a highway off-ramp last week.
Marcus Antrone Marsh, 40, was arrested about 10 p.m. July 20 just east of Lancaster at the intersection of S.C. 903 and U.S. 521 Bypass. He was charged with second-offense DUI and possession of drug paraphernalia.
According to the incident report, sheriff’s deputies responded to a call that someone had been sitting in a vehicle outside Knight’s Food Mart on S.C. 903 for about five hours. While deputies were on the way to the store, the suspect left and was attempting to drive the wrong way down the off-ramp from U.S. 521 Bypass.
The deputy said in the report that it appeared Marsh had realized he was going the wrong way and tried to turn around, driving into a ditch.
Once the deputy reached the vehicle, he could see Marsh’s eyes only about half-way open, and his pants were soaked around his groin area, the report said.
Marsh would not respond to simple commands at first and the deputy said his slurred speech made him difficult to understand.
“I do not believe he even knew he was in the driver seat of a motor vehicle,” the deputy wrote in the report.
The deputy had to help Marsh out of the car to keep him from falling and finally got him into handcuffs.
“The suspect was not cooperating and because of his gross intoxication did not realize that his vehicle was not on the roadway,” the deputy wrote.
 A scale, rolling papers and a bottle of synthetic urine wrapped with hand warmers were found in the car, and $2,500 cash was found in Marsh’s pocket. Synthetic urine is created in a lab and marketed as a way to beat a drug test.
Marsh was on probation after an assault conviction and was subject to random drug tests. The deputy said he believed Marsh was keeping the urine to use in those drug tests.
Because of how intoxicated Marsh was, a field sobriety test was not possible. He was taken to Springs Memorial Hospital so he could be cleared for incarceration and because his health was a concern, the report said.
On the way to the emergency room, Marsh threw up multiple times all over himself and the back of the patrol car.
At the hospital, Marsh refused all medical treatment, including a blood-alcohol test, and had to be pushed around in a wheelchair because he was unable to walk, the report said.
Marsh was then cleared for incarceration and was taken to the Lancaster County Detention Center to sleep it off. He was arrested the next day and charged.