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Remember When

  • I'm still partial to gorillas

    Try as I may, I just can’t put my fingers on King Solomon’s words in Proverbs that describe just how sweet it is to recover something that you lost.Seeing how I’ve never been at a loss of words, that notion isn’t going to leave me speechless.I’ll paraphrase it.“Oh, behold the joys of 9 to 5.”Most plowboys (and girls) my age worked 40 years or more before hanging up the old plowshare (or it was hung up for us).More than once during those 14,600 days at the grindstone, I dreamed of retiring t

  • Flaming Coffins avoided the mill

    About a month had passed since that 10-pound bomb came crashing down on Mr. Ben’s front steps.You may recall, it was only pretend – a sack flour to signify that Mr. Ben was burning his lights during a blackout drill. Hey, the prospect of a Luftwaffe Heinkel “Flaming Coffin” dropping its bomb payload over Chesterfield Avenue didn’t set well with anybody in the neighborhood and Mr Ben wasn’t helping our chances.But Mr. Ben didn’t much cotton very much to all of these wartime rules and regulations.

  • Miss McCarty stole my heart

    Gosh, I knew going from Chesterfield Avenue Grammar School across town to Lancaster High School would be a great adventure, but I didn’t know it would be so intimidating.We eighth grade boys were “required” (by tradition) to “run the belt line.”First, we were afforded a couple of days of acclimation to learn our way around the campus to find our homerooms.Those two days were filled with all sorts of scary threats coming from male upper classmen, like “Boy, you’ll be able to tell where I hit you” and &ldquo

  • I never run out of things to do

    The British Broadcasting Corp.

  • Simpler time not so simple

    As I get older – or maybe as I grow mellow – the bad stuff that happened during my childhood just doesn’t seem worth recalling.But it did happen, like when I occasionally got my britches dusted.And at one time, I figured I owned the world record for sitting through lectures while staring down at my shoe tops.Having sisters and brothers pays off. It seems that everybody I knew had a couple of brothers and sisters as an added layer of insulation during troubling times.I wasn’t as lucky.

  • Bible school is OK, but I'd rather ring the bell and run

    No sooner had the final school bell rung for our last day at Chesterfield Avenue Grammar School, the bell at First Baptist Church peeled, summoning all of us to Vacation Bible School.Mama said most folks thought it best to start “Bible school” just as soon as regular school let out while “you children haven’t forgotten how to be nice and calm.”Nowadays, there is a difference of opinion when it comes to Bible school, or VBS, as many choose to call it.A lot of churches schedule Bible school smack dab in the middle of the summ

  • Horton pulls off an egg-citing street trick

    A crowd had already gathered down at the Corner Drug Store.Something was going on.

  • Mr. Albert a filler, not an emptier

    Features editor Greg Summers recently called the house and asked if I had a column in mind for Father’s Day. I guess Spam can only stretch so far.Last year, I wrote a tribute to my Dad who shared 39 years with me before his death. I told Greg even if I wished for it, I couldn’t add much more to what had written.Leave it to me to speak a little too soon; What in the world was I thinking?Come to think of it, I was blessed with two dads, one was biological.

  • Spam cans now back in style

    These days, I constantly stay at odds with movers and shakers, snobs and those who consider themselves as “politically correct.”Now don’t get me wrong – if you’re comfortable wearing your glasses cocked up on the top of your head – so be it.If you didn’t get enough well water as a youngster and find it necessary to tote around an expensive brand of spring water, that’s your business.But if you must talk on that bluetooth ear deal while driving by my house or strolling through the mall, I’d appreciate

  • Lazy bugs infest my La-Z-Boy

    It’s sad that environmentalists only want to protect things like Carolina Heelsplitters.I could use their help right now; I’m on the verge of being endangered, too, and I have Mother Nature to thank for it. According to my wife and a bunch of her girlfriends, our recent thundershowers and pollen have unearthed another critter which is disrupting households from the Panhandle to Boonetown and most places in-between.One of them found a cluster of small eggs nestled in the cushion of her husband’s La-Z-Boy recliner. S