I don't hoard, I just forget

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By W.B. Evans

I can identify with the folks on this new cable television show who have an inability to part with belongings they should’ve thrown out long ago.

At one time, I conceived a plan to sort our accumulated junk and haul it off to the green boxes by the racetrack on a regular basis.

However, since retirement, that’s kind of got shoved to the back of the drawer, so to speak.

Of course, I can’t blame anybody else. I have fallen down on my job.

But in my defense, stuff just looks different now.

Hey, I’m only in my 70s. You know, I just might need some of those things again.

How many times have you wished you had a spare bread wrapper tie?

There’s nothing wrong with tucking  rubber bands and paper clips in the kitchen junk drawer or behind the mantle clock.

We make it a habit to clip newspaper coupons because they really save on the grocery bill.

We sometimes just forget where we put ’em before they expire.

I have amassed a rather large assortment of 3-way light bulbs which are now one-ways. But when push comes to shove, I’m grateful I still have them. They really help out in a pinch.

But I’m not ready to be classified as a hoarder. My highchair, circa 1933, has been put to good use several times. My great-granddaughter has now fallen heir to a stack of frilly dresses which had been worn by her grandmother and carefully stored away for 50 years. Some things never go out of style.

I am drinking java in Maryland from a “Mr. Coffee” which was stored after being replaced years ago. By the way, it works just fine. Joltin’ Joe would be proud.

There’s nothing wrong with antiques.

As a lad, all of our furniture was antique of the hand-me-down sort.

That’s what we had.

Right now, I have stashed away enough old clothes for yard work to get me through 2030.

Don’t laugh. My wife’s grandfather lived to be 101 years old.

He was going strong until he fell just after his 100th birthday. He was working in the yard well into his 90s.

I figure if he can do it, so can I.

The only bad part of hoarding is forgetting where you put the stuff that only got used once.

It happens all the time. You run out and buy this little gizmo for a home improvement project, only to realize weeks later, you already had one safely put away in the drawer of that old chest in the garage.

And any do-it-yourselfer with grown children knows  you have to replace everything that gets borrowed at least once.

The borrowed one will be returned. Right (when Hades freezes over).

I guess hoarding goes back to our upbringing.

We came out of the Depression with a sense of appreciation and amazement for anything that could be reused.

These days, folks call it recycling. We called it life.

There is a huge pile on one side of the attic that includes a set of World Book encyclopedias with at least 20 years of updates including Science Year.

There’s even a set of Childcraft up there somewhere.

With the technology developed in the last 10 years, I might have trouble recycling those. 

Maybe I can pass them on to one of those hoarders on TV.

They’ll collect anything.